Why you need feminism, and how my sorority made it relevant again

Amongst all the negative media American University has been receiving due to the EI scandal, there is a small silver lining.

One of my sisters, Maia Waxman, (who is in my new member class, spring 2013) started a project called “Tell [insert my sorority name here] why you need feminism!” It was a campaign (that started before the EI news broke out) where people would come to our table and write on a white board why they needed feminism. Some of the responses were really incredible and inspiring to read. We even got a large number of men to participate and tell us why they needed feminism too.

Today the project, which was posted on my sorority’s Facebook page last week, was picked up by BuzzFeed!

Here is the link to the article in all it’s glory: http://www.buzzfeed.com/justincarissimo/21-inspiring-messages-about-feminism-from-american-universit

I encourage every person to read our BuzzFeed article about our project because it shows how much people need feminism in their daily lives. Women still face issues of inequality against men despite the fact that our advanced society boasts about progress made for women. Even though I vowed to remain neutral about what sorority I belong to, I linked to our Facebook page and the article to my blog. To be honest, I believe the benefits of spreading the project outweighs the anonymity.

EI, the “fraternity” we have to abolish

Alright EI, you’ve been in the media for a week now and even though y’all have not been recognized for 13 years now, YOU ARE GIVING GREEK LIFE HERE AT AMERICAN UNIVERSITY A BAD REPUTATION.

One of my friends (who is going to become the famous anchor on CNN for sure) put this piece together about the march on the quad against EI.

 

And while I’m extremely proud of him for putting more pressure on the administration to solve the issue of EI’s existence, I am also a little disheartened with this and with campus. What I realized today is that EI not only “endorses” these disgusting behaviors, but it gives AU’s Greek life a bad reputation… and they are NOT a fraternity. Letting a major news outlet like the Huffington Post calling EI a fraternity is an insult to those of us who are in Greek life.

It’s easy for the media to say “AU has a frat problem” for catchy headlines, but EI was a chapter of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity that lost its charter 13 years ago. Ever since they have been regarded by the DC/MD police as “unidentified males between the ages of 18-22”. Is that a fraternity? No.

Yesterday, American’s Interfraternity Council (IFC) posted this statement on their Facebook Page:

 

The IFC at AU is known to believe in values such as respect for their fellow man and the respect of women. EI’s violent and sexually explicit references to girls within my own Panhellenic community disgusts me and propels their illegitimacy as a Greek organization. For those who continue to view this as a fraternity and/or sorority issue, please know that EI is not (and never was) an official part of Greek life on campus, ATO was the recognized fraternity until they lost their charter. EI hides behind their mask of Greek letters which is how these individuals repeatedly detract from the many productive aspects that fraternity life on campus provides.

So the next news story (like the newest Huffington Post article on the issue) with phrases like “can we get rid of this frat already?”, I might just punch my pillow until the stuffing comes out. Great article, just awful title.

Greek life is more than just events or even parties; it allows us in the community to get involved with philanthropy events, meeting others in different organizations, participate in other organizations events, and endless networking opportunities. Not to mention you gain a whole sisterhood or brotherhood to be there for you and support you as an individual while fostering growth  within yourself and your organization.

March on the Quad against the EI Silence

So today there was a march around American University‘s quad against the silence the administration has demonstrated for the last 13 years about the unrecognized fraternity Epsilon Iota (EI).

Here are some photos I took from the march:

 

The march only lasted about an hour before public safety seemed to make them stop…

The vibe was very intense. Since I was with some of my sisters on the quad doing a fundraising event, we were wearing our letters. Different people from media outlets (WUSA 9 and AU media outlets) kept asking us for a comment, and we respectfully declined and redirected them to the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life. The majority of those involved in the march were women, but the men who participated were extremely vocal as well.

We also got another memorandum about student conduct from the VP of Student Life.

Here is the original text:

 

 

MEMORANDUM
April 24, 2014

TO:	Campus Community
FROM:	Gail Short Hanson, Vice President of Campus Life
SUBJECT:	Student Conduct Matters

 

 

As the university continues to deal with the serious allegations of misconduct that were brought to our attention last week, I want to address some of the feedback we have received and outline what the community may expect in the weeks and months to come. Our community continues to be outraged by the behaviors described.

First, I want to reiterate that AU takes the allegations seriously. Assault, sexual assault, bullying, underage and binge drinking, illicit drug use, misogyny, homophobia, and racism are antithetical to our values. We will address them head on.

Emails describing the misconduct, provided by an anonymous source, appear to be exchanges on a Google listserv not hosted by the university. They describe actions that, if proven, represent breaches of both our Student Code of Conduct as well as law. We are reviewing the accusations thoroughly and expeditiously to identify what is actionable.

To that end, we have several tools at our disposal. We apply our student code of conduct and local and federal laws. An intense investigation is underway and will determine instances where evidence will support adjudication on campus or in coordination with law enforcement agencies. We are determined to respect the time it takes to complete the process and avoid jeopardizing our ability to hold individuals accountable.

While we carry out the investigations, we will take appropriate measures to protect the safety and well-being of all who are directly involved, including victims and witnesses, as well as the rights of the accused, so that any eventual outcomes are the result of due process and fair treatment without prejudice. Those accused are presumed innocent until found responsible or proven guilty.

Reports are incorrect that the university has done nothing to curtail the activities of the group of individuals that pose as a “brotherhood” and mask themselves in the rituals and social benefits of a fraternity, but uphold none of the traditions of scholarship, leadership, and service. The university started by deploying all of the tools it has available to hold a group accountable. The details of the university’s 2001 sanctions and withdrawal of the group’s recognition are well known and outlined on our website and in mass mailings. For years, the university has warned students to avoid joining or engaging with this group and also warned parents in orientations and in writing.

Whenever credible reports about misconduct have been provided, we have pursued them.

We remind everyone that the results of student conduct hearings are confidential. Arrests, criminal charges and convictions are matters of public record.

As the judicial processes proceed, we are engaging in discussions about how to improve our extensive education and prevention efforts. We encourage the participation of our community to realize the goal of greater and more effective prevention efforts.

Actions such as the Panhellenic Association’s decision to implement twice-yearly bystander training, and the efforts of other community members to work with the administration are important to reinforce our commitment to civility and safety. To succeed we must work together to prevent and confront behaviors that are not consistent with our values and mission.

We will continue to update our community on developments and resources on this website.

 

I think this is the University’s way of being aggressive, yet only time will tell if these promises and actions will hold true. I can only hope that the victims or people who feel betrayed by the school can have a little more peace knowing that AU is being serious with these sexual assault and rape allegations.

What It Means To Be A Twin (guest post written by my twin)

After asking my (sorority) twin for a few weeks, she agreed to do a guest post for me! For those of you who do not know, a “twin” means that the big sister took two little sisters. Last February, my big took two littles; I finally had a big, and I was surprised with a twin as well. What I didn’t know at the time was that the girl I call my twin, would ultimately become my best friend. The picture I use accurately describes our family dynamic… we’re quiche (Ja’mie reference). The entry she wrote actually made me tear up. If you’re reading this twin, just know I love you so much and thank you for your kind words.

 

My twin on the right, our big in the middle

 

I do not know how to begin writing about my sorority. First off, I hate clichés.

I don’t like talking about how my organization has changed me and I would never change one part of it. Second, I definitely don’t love talking about my emotions; I feel every emotion very deeply so things get personal very quickly. To be honest, this is the third opening I have written to this post.

What does it mean to have a twin? It means everything. Before college I had best friends, whom I am still incredibly close with. We endured the same public school system in the same town for 12 years. I understand those four girls better than almost anyone. Or so I thought.

The night of “big little” revelation, I got a twin- meaning my big took a second little. I didn’t know how to handle this. It wasn’t that I wasn’t excited about it; the more the merrier, am I right? It was that this girl was almost a stranger to me and now she was family. We were immediately supposed to love each other. I was supposed to trust her. This was hard. Friendships and relationships had been
shaken up in high school. Girls who I had been friends with since second grade decided I wasn’t the coolest. Maybe they had changed, but I was still myself. I guess that didn’t work out with their new agendas. I lost trust in them. Flash-forward to reveal where I was in the position of fully trusting a girl I had barely met. It was a leap of faith.

My twin, who I really only refer to as twin in real life, is better than words can describe. She is the strongest, most caring, dedicated, honest person I know.

Cliché number 1. I would be so lost without her.

Cliché number 2. And for the real killer of a cliché, she is my other half.

As much as I despise clichés, these happen to be incredibly true.

This depth of friendship has changed my life for the better. I have someone I can count on fully and completely. When a family friend passed away recently, she was the first person I ran to. She was there waiting with open arms. She knows exactly how to comfort me- when to make me laugh and when to listen. I have never known someone as in tune with me in my entire life. She always has the right advice, whether or not I want to hear it. The support system I have found in her is unparalleled to any relationship I have. All I want in my life is for her to be happy, and I want to do everything I can to make her happiness possible. I would sacrifice everything I have if it meant that she could be happy for even a little.

I am the luckiest girl in the world. I have found the organization that is my real home away from home. I have learned to trust again, all because of my twin. She is truly my other half and even 3 days away from each other is 3 too many. I will always be grateful that I have her in my life. This is what my organization has given me and this is why I tell girls to go through formal recruitment. You will find more love and compassion and support here than anywhere else.

Why leak all the details now?

Since this whole EI scandal has arisen last week, there has been uproar, backlash, plans for a March on the Quad (tomorrow, Thursday, April 24) demands for action, and many unanswered questions.

 

Current graphic floating around students Facebook profiles to gain awareness for the March on the Quad

 

EI has not been a new “threat” to campus, so why leak all of this information now? In the emails that have been going around, there are messages on the list serve that date back as far as 2012, as well as some emails from last month.

Well according to an exclusive interview by The Eagle (American University‘s school newspaper) with the anonymous EI brother who leaked all the information, “the emails intends to damage reputations of the people mentioned in the messages.”

Here is a little excerpt from the interview:

The former member said that while the content is objectionable, this type of language is an “epidemic” in college fraternities.

“It’s just disgusting,” he said.

He added that some of the incidents mentioned in the emails were not portrayed correctly, and while a member of the group, he was unaware of any cases of sexual assault within EI.

He said he originally joined the group because of the freedom available to EI. As an unrecognized student group, EI is not subject to the rules applied to recognized AU Greek life and established their own rules and guidelines.

These group rules strictly condemn sexual assault and violence, according to the source.

Oh sure freedom is cool, “sticking it to the man” is cool. You know what else is cool? Try respect.

Look boys, just because your group is unrecognized and you are not subject to AU rules, does not give you the right to sexually assault/harass/rape ANYONE.

Yesterday there was an open forum where President Neil Kerwin answered questions from students (and reporters, like the Washington Post) in the audience. People were slamming him for making our campus environment feel unsafe to them.

“This situation cannot be viewed as an isolated set of circumstances,” Kerwin said. “It raises broader concerns about student conduct and high risk and harmful behaviors. Over the ensuing weeks and months, we will review with the community the steps we have taken to educate and address such issues and solicit ideas about what else might be effective in curtailing dangerous, damaging and illegal behaviors.”

WEEKS AND MONTHS?! Yeah I’m sure people will be thrilled to know the administration will solve this in weeks and months. What about the victims who need help now? What about the students who roam the quad and do not feel safe? What should they do for the “ensuing weeks and months”?

In the story written by the WaPo, my friend was quoted with his response to the scandal

“Scott Weathers, a junior from Chapel Hill, N.C., who was in the audience, said the administration’s reaction to the incident seemed slow. ‘I don’t think they fully grasped how big a deal it is,’ he said. ‘It’s already getting such huge traction online.'”

And he’s right. If this story is on the front page of the Washington Post local news section, then clearly this story is well out of the hands of the university. Honestly, at this point, EI has brought on more publicity for this school since Anderson Cooper  was named “WONK OF THE YEAR” in 2013. It’s no secret AU is a smaller school and will not be in headlines all the time, but this is not something you want to be known for, especially as high school seniors are deciding between schools for the May 1st enrollment deadline. Like I said before, if the PR department for AU were more on top of this, they would be getting in front of the bad press and not sending out  memorandums every few days.

American University’s President (finally) Responds to EI

As the EI scandal gains more media attention and as students/faculty and parents demand more from the university, our President Neil Kerwin has sent out an official memorandum…… 5 DAYS LATER…

Here is the memorandum:

	MEMORANDUM April 21, 2014 TO:  Campus Community FROM: Neil Kerwin, President SUBJECT: Student Conduct ______________________________________________________________________________

Members of our campus community have been alerted through anonymous emails to student conduct allegations that demand the university’s immediate attention. The allegations include high risk and harmful behaviors that not only conflict with our values and standards, but also may represent breaches of our student conduct code and of the law.

The emails discuss alleged behaviors by a group that is not recognized by the university. A group by the same name lost national and university recognition 13 years ago, in 2001.

That these alleged behaviors may have occurred within our community reminds us that we are not immune from the problems that have occurred on campuses across the country.

I am determined that we use this disturbing situation as an opportunity to reinforce and uphold the values and standards of this university.

What AU is doing
I assure you that the university is taking the information contained in the emails very seriously. We are taking swift and deliberate action to investigate every one of the alleged behaviors and will apply our student conduct code to its fullest extent.

In addition, we are working closely with appropriate law enforcement agencies on any potential criminal activities that are found.

We will communicate as circumstances warrant, and we will continue to promote the highest level of awareness on our campus about student conduct, the behaviors identified in the emails, and the role and responsibilities of fraternities and sororities in our community.

What AU cannot do
Many in our campus community are also outraged by the alleged behaviors and are calling for specific actions and a high level of transparency by the university. However, the university is bound by regulations and statutes regarding the disclosure of names and disciplinary and other actions taken with students and with law enforcement.

We will be as transparent as we can be, but we will not jeopardize due process and the rights of individual privacy. We ask you to understand and respect the university’s governance and legal responsibilities.

Next Steps
This situation cannot be viewed as an isolated set of circumstances. It raises broader concerns about student conduct and high risk and harmful behaviors.

Over the ensuing weeks and months, we will review with the community the steps we have taken to educate and address such issues and solicit ideas about what else might be effective in curtailing dangerous, damaging and illegal behaviors.

Vice President of Campus Life Gail Hanson will communicate soon regarding this matter.

 

 

While I can appreciate the “active” efforts of the President by addressing the student body, faculty, administration, and our parents, it’s important to note that the attachments of emails and texts from brothers have been circulating around since last WEDNESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 16. I honestly do not feel as though his administration has been handling this well at all.

He basically recycled the original memorandum we all got in our inboxes Friday morning… I mean come on, waiting four whole days to address the issue has not made it go away any faster. If anything, this situation is far from contained and this story can now be seen on popular websites such as USA Today, Huffington Post, Jezebel, WUSA 9, InTheCapital….. just to name the top sites that pop up on Google.

Here are the links to those articles on the sites listed above:

USA Today: http://college.usatoday.com/2014/04/21/leaked-fraternity-emails-outrage-many-at-american-university/

Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/21/american-university-underground-frat_n_5186490.html?utm_hp_ref=college

Jezebel: http://jezebel.com/read-the-rapey-emails-of-american-universitys-secret-fr-1565766329

WUSA 9: http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/2014/04/21/american-university-student-conduct-email/7990667/

InTheCapital: http://inthecapital.streetwise.co/2014/04/21/fratergate-tumblr-leaks-american-university-fraternity-emails-that-include-talk-of-rape-epsilon-iota-emails/

 

As long as AU goes at this pace of alerting us that “things are being investigated”, more news outlets will have more to report without any official comments from the President or the administration… Quit frankly, that’s embarrassing; but is it more embarrassing than covering up the existence of Epsilon Iota on AU’s campus on the last 13 years?

 

Update on EI scandal

If you need a refresher, here was my last post about the scandal.

Well American University has really hit it big with press; the EI scandal is all over the Huffington Post. Here’s the link.

Currently, there is a petition circulating around online saying

“No More Silence: Demand Sexual Assault Prevention and Consequences for Epsilon Iota”

Currently there’s only about 250 signatures out of 10,000 needed. Since the university hasn’t been on top of the scandal and has kept things under wraps for years, people are speaking up about making sure EI is stopped once and for all. Supporters of the petition have been encouraging students to speak up about not being silent.

Here are the demands listed:

Immediate Demands

– Clarification of who in University administration is involved in the investigation, and also a mechanism by which the University will update us on the investigation. We would like complete transparency regarding the progression of any investigation.

– Interim suspension of all persons involved in the email thread /suspected criminals pending their investigation.

– An official statement from the University saying that involvement in EI will be treated as gang activity, and that any incidents of student involvement in EI will be treated as such. Furthermore, disciplinary action for any student wearing EI letters on campus should be taken.

– Expulsion of all EI members that have discussed being present, or condoning sexual violence, assault, battery, slander and all other actions relevant to physical, sexual, emotional and all other forms of abuse.

Long Term Demands:

– Employment of a full-time Survivors Advocate and additional administrative positions which would be specialized in dealing with cases of sexual violence to support victims of sexual and gendered violence.

– Mandatory sexual assault prevention and bystander intervention training at Eagle Summit.

– More comprehensive, mandatory, sexual assault prevention/bystander training for all of social and professional Greek life on a semesterly basis.

– Mandatory sexual assault education for club executive board members.

 

As a member of Greek life at American, being told stories about EI is normal. Tall tales about girls being drugged at parties, excessive hazing in the basement…etc. Even at our new member education (where the most recent pledge classes of each sorority and fraternity were required to be in attendance), we were told that any association with EI would result in serious consequences. Ever since EI lost their charter, the school has discouraged involvement with EI (aka “please don’t get involved”). By saying “please don’t,” basically implies that the school has no authority over what organization or activities students decide to get involved with. AND THIS IS WHY WE STILL HAVE EI, BECAUSE NO ONE HAS REALLY DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

This school is dealing with some seriously bad PR. Rather than being reactive to this EI scandal, they should have been proactive and gotten in front of the potential problems this unrecognized fraternity would cause. This school needs to get with the times; it’s 2014 and sexual assault is not taboo. It should be taught about in more places instead of students having to find resources available to them after an incident occurs.

Interesting fact: Neil Kerwin, esteemed university president, was a member of the Epsilon Iota chapter of Alpha Tau Omega………………

 

Stop EI (Epsilon Iota)

**TRIGGER WARNING REGARDING SEXUAL ASSAULT AND RAPE**

Disclaimed: I DO NOT SUPPORT anything mentioned in this post.

 

It has come to the recent attention of the American University community that EI (Epsilon Iota, an unrecognized fraternity on campus) has not been portrayed in the most positive of lights this week.

WAIT DID I JUST SAY “most positive of lights this week”? THAT’S THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY.

Currently circulating around campus and the internet are 70 pages of screenshots from EI brothers’ emails and text messages espousing misogynist, sexist, racist, homophobic, and rape culture-perpetuating ideas.

What is EI, you might ask? The American University Epsilon Iota chapter of Alpha Tau Omega lost its charter more than a decade ago due to misconduct involving hazing and alcohol abuse. In the AU “Guide to Greek Life“, they mention EI as the once Alpha Tau Omega chapter that lost it’s charter due to serious hazing issues and alcohol abuse.

Here is a link to a blog with a few emails that have been blurred for anonymity of students mentioned by name:

http://thefratergateau.tumblr.com/

We sit in class with these boys, walk past them on the quad, some of us may even live in the same building are these boys. And we have subconsciously created the environment allowing them to engage in this kind of behavior. The way that these people talk about women is so degrading that it almost makes it seem like it’s okay and socially accepted to talk about women like that. In the attachment, there are many instances where they talk about sorority women like we are property that can be thrown around however they choose.

 

 

IS THIS OKAY?! HELL NO. I cannot believe this is how brothers were talking about women. It disgusts me that this is how they talk amongst each other, and it especially sickens me that this conversation seems so casual. Rape is not casual, so to even just throw that word around as a joke really says something about these boys.

I really don’t have much to say about this topic, because I don’t know how many times I can say negative things about this scandal without sounding repetitive.

Today our Vice President of Campus Life sent the student body a memorandum saying this:

“Recently, an anonymous source shared emails and other information with university administrators and selected campus community members. We are outraged by the reprehensible content of this material. It could not be more contrary to American University’s values and standards.

The material is under intense analysis by university officials, with attention to the statutes and regulations that guide our behavior. We assure our campus community that we are pursuing these matters deliberately and expeditiously so that violations of the law are addressed and university conduct code standards are upheld.”

For now I would say that’s incredibly weak and the university should take a stronger and more aggressive approach to this situation. At least they are finally acknowledging that this is a problem that needs to be stopped vs. swept under the rug like it has been for many years.

But until this has been fixed, we all must encourage the university to take a harder stance on this unrecognized organization and stop EI.

Is slut shaming lethal?

The answer is yes.

I’m going to step away from the effects directly on Greek life and look at how actually horrible slut shaming has become for communities in general.

With this trend of slut shaming online, it is easy to hide behind the comfort of the computer or cell phone screen to torment others. It’s convenient; why exert energy into punching someone in the face when you can type 140 characters and punch their self-esteem and reputation?

Let’s look at the Felicia Garcia case in Staten Island back in 2012; Garcia was a sophomore at Tottenville High School.

“The ability to be anonymous gives people a sense of power, to say these things to people because they are hiding behind a keyboard,” says one fellow student in the news reel after the suicide.

How has it become okay for people to call someone a slut and bully them based on their sexual reputations? Let me rephrase that, why has it become okay to slut shame women based on their sexual reputations? Obviously I wasn’t there at the time of the incident so I don’t know what of the rumors are true, but it’s never okay to judge someone about their sexual relations, true or false.

It all goes back to that double standard. If a guy from that school was hooking-up with a lot of girls from that school, he would be treated like a king.

He would be treated like Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother when he had “the perfect week” (when he has sex with seven women in seven days).

Let’s also look at the Amanda Todd case in Canada during the same month; October 2012.

She originally met a man online who complimented her and convinced her to send him a nude picture, which she ultimately did. A year after the online encounter, the man found out where she lived, where she went to school and posted the picture online. This not only ruined her reputation, but it started an endless wave of bullying from peers and classmates. Even after changing schools, the image and her past still followed her, and eventually drove her to take her own life.

Danielle Paradis at Flurt!  said in the HuffPost article about Amanda that, “the prevalent culture around her sends mixed messages, such as take your clothes off to get the affection you desire, but don’t do it in the wrong way or with the wrong people or you’ll be seen as a dirty, worthless whore.”

“The gendered pressures and expectations put on boys and girls are a system of systemic sexism in which kids like Amanda are collateral damage.”

We can’t stand back and be a reactive society. With Garcia, she put out a cry for help on twitter with a very dark tweet.

And with Todd, she put out a video telling her story to the world hoping someone would listen, or even help her. Here is the video.

If you or anyone you know sees anything that could be a possible red flag for depression, be PROactive. You never know, you could save a life. I know this is a delayed reaction to these two lives lost, but RIP Felicia and Amanda; my hearts go out to the families/friends/loved ones dealing with the loss of these two beautiful girls.

Is online slut shaming the next wave of cyber bullying?

I know I have been talking about body image and the Greek community, but I wanted to take a little break from that and go back to the issue of slut shaming. It’s something that cannot only occur in person, but online as well.

Cyber bullying is “the use of cell phones, instant messaging, e-mail, chat rooms or social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter to harass, threaten or intimidate someone.”- Google definition

Isn’t slut shaming online the same thing?

I came across this article in the 2013 University of San Francisco Law Review entitled “Hey Girls, Did You Know? Slut-Shaming on the Internet Needs to Stop.” Within the 21,000 word article, it talked mainly about the power of uncensored internet freedom and how it can hurt not only people’s reputation, but sometimes even their lives. Not only did it focus on reputations being ruined, but more specifically, only females’ reputations, not men.

In the main case study discussed, a sorority from Vanderbilt rented a photo booth for a formal event, and had the option for instant upload to Facebook. Later on during the party, a particular couple was looking for privacy, started partaking in some non-Facebook appropriate actions. As this couple was in the photo booth, the camera flashed and the photos were instantly uploaded to Facebook.

Here is a photo from that night that has been edited:

The poor girl not only got kicked out of her sorority and off of the cheerleading squad, but she had recently applied to law school and her application was removed from consideration. And what happened to the male in the picture? Nothing.

Obviously I am not condoning her actions as smart, but why does the internet make it okay for females to be publicly shamed for acting on their sexual desires? It’s the vicious cycle of living in a double-standard society. If a guy is hooking up with multiple partners, he is regarded as a “bro” or a “champ”. If a girl is hooking up with multiple partners, she is regarded as a “slut”.

What if slut-shaming is just the next generation of anti-feminist rights? Who’s to say that a man cannot be deemed as a “slut”?

This story reminded me a lot of this article from the Huffington Post “5 Things Women are Judged More Harshly for than Men” . Based on a poll taken amongst their readers from Reddit, here is the list (directly from the HuffPost article):

1. Having “too many” sexual partners. While no-one’s “number” should matter, the sexual double standard is alive and well. Men who sleep around are “studs,” but women who do the same are “sluts.” What’s more, a disturbing study found that women labelled “promiscuous” were rejected by their male and female peers, which is all kinds of messed up.

Seems relevant, especially in terms of this article, no?

2. Having a messy home. Though an estimated 81 percent of men and 87 percent of women report feeling anxious about home upkeep, women still do the majority of the housework. Why? Because women are judged much more harshly than men for having a messy home. We like the attitude HuffPost blogger Claire McCarthy shared in her Feb. 25 post: “We have more important things to do. If there is some time left over after we talk, eat together, play together and finish this really great book, we’ll clean. If not, well, it can wait.”

I cannot wait for my guy friends to stop coming over and asking me “why is your living room such a mess?” or saying “aren’t girls supposed to be more tidy than guys?” Chill out dude, I have a life, and my roommates and I clean once a week (usually Sunday afternoon before chapter).

3. Being overweight. Though both men and women experience fat prejudice, studies have found that overweight women feel more societal pressure to lose weight than overweight men.

This bulletin I feel to be the most true. Sure being judged based on sexual partners sucks but nothing will kick a woman’s self confidence to the ground more than being called fat. Of course if a man were called fat, he’s just “put on a few pounds” and it’s fine. When women are labeled as fat, somehow they are not “good enough” or “aren’t taking good care of themselves.” Sometimes there’s not enough time to go to the gym or go for a run.

4. Being blunt or assertive. A woman who speaks her mind too much is deemed bossy, aggressive or arrogant — whereas a mouthy dude is simply showcasing his executive leadership skills.

If you’re too confident and too honest, suddenly you’re a b****. If you’re not assertive enough, then people think they can walk all over you? Honestly the “happy medium” does not exist.

5. Not having children. Childfree women are often referred to as “selfish” and told they will regret their decision not to have kids. Because what kind of unnatural woman would never want to be a mother? Men get no such flak — being a dad isn’t considered to be an essential part of manhood. Plus, men have way more time to decide if they want kids! (But they still have biological clocks, too.)

Although this isn’t really relevant to me now, I can only imagine what it’s like to be in your 30’s have people keep asking you “when are you going to have kids?” or “is it safe to keep waiting?” Yikes!

I wonder when the day will come when the double standard for women will be gone/if men will ever get a double standard….. Only time will tell.